1 Cor. 4:14-21 A Parent's Tough Love

Here is today's text (1 Cor. 4:14-21):

14 I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. 15 For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. 16I urge you, then, be imitators of me. 17 That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church. 18 Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. 19 But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk of these arrogant people but their power. 20 For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power. 21 What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?

14-15 Paul finds it necessary to put his words in the proper context, so that they may be better understood and received in the right spirit. He has a special relationship with these people, one not shared by the other teachers and leaders¹ that have visited them or those resident in Corinth. As the man who first brought the gospel to them and personally led most of them to faith in Jesus, he is a spiritual "father" to them. And as a father he has special rights and duties. They understood this, because many of them were fathers. One of these duties and rights was to warn or admonish one's children. Seen in this light, his previous sharp language and biting sarcasm loses its ability to offend and alienate. He has said these things as their loving father, who cares about them in a way that no other person ever can.

Those of us who have are parents know from experience how difficult it is to convey our genuine concern to our children when we have to confront them about harmful conduct. Even the best of intentions can backfire. You can be sure that Paul prayed long and hard before penning these words to his Corinthian "children".

16-17 Verbal correction is only one of the duties and rights of a loving parent. Another is modeling good behavior. If the verbal corrections are not regularly accompanied by the modeling, they will seem hollow and hypocritical. The effect will be the opposite of what is desired. The child simply "turns off" the parent, and perhaps despises him or her as a hypocrite. Paul has no fear that his own life will not reflect what he has taught. Fearlessly (and, we suspect, honestly) he appeals to what the Corinthians saw in him when he was among them and what they have heard about his courage and sufferings after he departed (v. 11-13). The fact that some New Testament scholars can refer to Paul's listing these sufferings as a kind of literary type (Greek peristaseis 'catalogs of hardships') does not prove that they were not real in Paul's case. The very fact that on the surface these were unflattering things to say about himself would prove that he does not manufacture them! If Paul's manner of speaking was not up to the eloquent standard of someone like Apollos, there is no doubt that his personal example of suffering for Christ and for his spiritual children was dramatic and impressive.

In case they may have an imperfect memory of Paul's model behavior and the principles that guide it, he promises to send his young associate Timothy to fill out in their minds what they do not already know.

18-21 A loving parent's first choice is to persuade his child. But the Old Testament already allowed an extreme step for parents of an incorrigible child. It is so frightening that none of us would wish to even think about it today. You can read about it here in this passage of Scripture. But it shows just how seriously God takes the proper relationship of children to parents and vice versa. So important that it is one of the first of the ten commandments: "Honor your father and your mother". "Honor" in ancient Israel always entailed obedience. It was impossible to honor a parent while refusing to obey him or her. And so, Paul builds on his relationship to the Corinthian believers as their spiritual father, indicting that he will not hesitate to discipline them as any conscientious father would. the choice is theirs: "What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a switch, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?" If they listen to his words of wisdom, the switch will not be necessary. That Paul had the power to back up his words, we should have no doubt. He says: "I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk of these arrogant people but their power." A few of his most stubborn and audacious opponents dared him to come. They considered themselves above him in spirituality. But anyone who ever saw Paul in action—and you can sample some examples by reading of his miraculous powers in the Book of Acts—knew that there would be no standing up to him, when he acted in defense of the Gospel of Jesus.

We shall see in our next installment (Chapter 5) what some of the things were that so troubled and incensed Paul about the behavior of some of the members of his churches. And when we see what they were, we will surely understand why he threatened drastic discipline.

References

1. The Greek word translated by NIV as "guardians" and the NRSV and ESV as "guides" designates private tutors in well-to-do Greek families, who saw to the education of children until they reached adulthood. Paul sometimes refers to the Law of Moses in a metaphorical way as such a tutor, placed in charge of Israel until the Messiah Jesus was sent.